Our baby is growing up.
She is making her mom and dad proud.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Letters to Mom / Sara (from funeral)
Dear Mom,
I love you. You are nice. You helped my teacher at school. You picked me up from school.
We spent time together going to the store.
We went to McDonalds one time. You love me.
We had a lunchable at Lin’s together.
I’m happy you are in heaven. I love you very much. I miss you.
Love, Avrie. (5 years old)
Dear Mom,
I wish you were still here. You died on Easter Sunday. You are sure beautiful. I love you. I miss you so much. Dad really misses you too. He wishes you were here and he could hug you. It has been a tough week.
Love Annie (7 years old)
PS you really did die on Easter.
Dear Mom,
I love you so much. I wish you were still here. You are a good Mom and always took good care of me. Our family misses you so much! I love you! I bet you are in a wonderful place now. There are a lot of people doing nice things for us. We are really sad, but we will be ok- don’t worry about us. I know you are in heaven with Jesus, and happy. I hope to see you soon. We love you!
Love Kyle. (9 years old)
Dear Mom,
I love you, nobody can replace you. I can remember when I was little you used to help me collect seashells at Lake Powell. You were always helping us. I really miss you. You were always offering service to everyone. I’m sorry that you missed my birthday on April 1st, But I know that you wished you could come. I pulled some good pranks. We know you are in a better place now, watching us. You are the best mom ever, and I can feel you. I know you will help us get through. I love you mom.
Love, Tyler (11 years old)
Dear Mom,
This has been a very tough week. We all
miss you so much. We have all cried a ton. I’m
going to miss you doing my hair mostly
every morning (well dad can try), and
P.S. Just promise not to haunt me if our dog Emma gets pregnant….you telling me what NOT to wear for church. I’m
also going to miss massaging your back, and
you yelling at our dog Emma because all the naughty
things that she has done. Well for sure, someday,
I’m going to prove that Emma can be a good dog, and
outstanding! (but it may take a couple of years…)
And don’t worry, I’ll try my best to keep my grades
up! I miss you so deeply, and am glad to know that
you are happy where you are, and not in pain.
I love you…
Katelyn (12 years old)
Dear Sara,
Over the past few days I’ve picked up on one of your old habits – I’ve been checking out the obituaries section of the newspaper to see if I’m in it. As you know, You’re in it, and I’m not too happy about it. My heart is broken and I hurt like never before. I miss you.
I received much hope and strength from General Conference over the Easter weekend. The prophet and apostles seemed to have written their messages only for me. I didn’t realize at the time that it was to help prepare me for today – me, sitting here, sobbing like a baby with our kids – and you, in front of us, resting in your casket.
I could really use one of your big warm hugs – and your kiss on my cheek. I know you are here now - so plant one on me.
Thank you for the past 20 years. I remember the first time we met – July 25, 1990, 5 pm, at the St. George Taco Time. We were both experiencing our first day of our first job together – and yes, it was YOU, not me, that burned the meat on that fateful day. I remember thinking a few weeks later at work, as I was approaching my 16th birthday, who I could take on my first date to Pine View Homecoming dance. I remembered the counsel of parents and leaders that “you marry who you date.” Then I wondered who my wife would be and what she looked like – I fantasized for a moment – then looked up, and there you were, running the drive-through cash register. What a hottie!
Our Heavenly Father brought us together – it was meant to be – You were my first kiss and only girl I ever dated – My true and only love. Our marriage, 5 years later, in the St. George Temple will seal us together forever. What joy you bring to me – 5 wonderful kids and a glorious future through eternity together.
I will do my best, but I can’t fill your place in our home. Stay close and keep an eye on us. Especially the kids – they need to feel your comforting love.
Tell our loved ones with you on that side of the veil – a big hello, and we miss them, too. Also, put a word in, that some of us, here, are a little anxious for the Lord’s return – I know you will be coming with him. Until then, I’ll try being patient – that will be new for me and the kids – but you are worth the wait. We have a great bunch of family, friends, and ward who are being life savers for us. I’ve never felt so alone and empty – or that so many people cared.
I love you, Sara – and hope to see you real soon. Love Brad.
PS – I was serious about you planting a kiss on me today.
I love you. You are nice. You helped my teacher at school. You picked me up from school.
We spent time together going to the store.
We went to McDonalds one time. You love me.
We had a lunchable at Lin’s together.
I’m happy you are in heaven. I love you very much. I miss you.
Love, Avrie. (5 years old)
Dear Mom,
I wish you were still here. You died on Easter Sunday. You are sure beautiful. I love you. I miss you so much. Dad really misses you too. He wishes you were here and he could hug you. It has been a tough week.
Love Annie (7 years old)
PS you really did die on Easter.
Dear Mom,
I love you so much. I wish you were still here. You are a good Mom and always took good care of me. Our family misses you so much! I love you! I bet you are in a wonderful place now. There are a lot of people doing nice things for us. We are really sad, but we will be ok- don’t worry about us. I know you are in heaven with Jesus, and happy. I hope to see you soon. We love you!
Love Kyle. (9 years old)
Dear Mom,
I love you, nobody can replace you. I can remember when I was little you used to help me collect seashells at Lake Powell. You were always helping us. I really miss you. You were always offering service to everyone. I’m sorry that you missed my birthday on April 1st, But I know that you wished you could come. I pulled some good pranks. We know you are in a better place now, watching us. You are the best mom ever, and I can feel you. I know you will help us get through. I love you mom.
Love, Tyler (11 years old)
Dear Mom,
This has been a very tough week. We all
miss you so much. We have all cried a ton. I’m
going to miss you doing my hair mostly
every morning (well dad can try), and
P.S. Just promise not to haunt me if our dog Emma gets pregnant….you telling me what NOT to wear for church. I’m
also going to miss massaging your back, and
you yelling at our dog Emma because all the naughty
things that she has done. Well for sure, someday,
I’m going to prove that Emma can be a good dog, and
outstanding! (but it may take a couple of years…)
And don’t worry, I’ll try my best to keep my grades
up! I miss you so deeply, and am glad to know that
you are happy where you are, and not in pain.
I love you…
Katelyn (12 years old)
Dear Sara,
Over the past few days I’ve picked up on one of your old habits – I’ve been checking out the obituaries section of the newspaper to see if I’m in it. As you know, You’re in it, and I’m not too happy about it. My heart is broken and I hurt like never before. I miss you.
I received much hope and strength from General Conference over the Easter weekend. The prophet and apostles seemed to have written their messages only for me. I didn’t realize at the time that it was to help prepare me for today – me, sitting here, sobbing like a baby with our kids – and you, in front of us, resting in your casket.
I could really use one of your big warm hugs – and your kiss on my cheek. I know you are here now - so plant one on me.
Thank you for the past 20 years. I remember the first time we met – July 25, 1990, 5 pm, at the St. George Taco Time. We were both experiencing our first day of our first job together – and yes, it was YOU, not me, that burned the meat on that fateful day. I remember thinking a few weeks later at work, as I was approaching my 16th birthday, who I could take on my first date to Pine View Homecoming dance. I remembered the counsel of parents and leaders that “you marry who you date.” Then I wondered who my wife would be and what she looked like – I fantasized for a moment – then looked up, and there you were, running the drive-through cash register. What a hottie!
Our Heavenly Father brought us together – it was meant to be – You were my first kiss and only girl I ever dated – My true and only love. Our marriage, 5 years later, in the St. George Temple will seal us together forever. What joy you bring to me – 5 wonderful kids and a glorious future through eternity together.
I will do my best, but I can’t fill your place in our home. Stay close and keep an eye on us. Especially the kids – they need to feel your comforting love.
Tell our loved ones with you on that side of the veil – a big hello, and we miss them, too. Also, put a word in, that some of us, here, are a little anxious for the Lord’s return – I know you will be coming with him. Until then, I’ll try being patient – that will be new for me and the kids – but you are worth the wait. We have a great bunch of family, friends, and ward who are being life savers for us. I’ve never felt so alone and empty – or that so many people cared.
I love you, Sara – and hope to see you real soon. Love Brad.
PS – I was serious about you planting a kiss on me today.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thanks to All.
You dread the day you bury your spouse from the moment that you have one.
This picture was taken January 26, 2010 - the day we learned of her tumor.
April 10th, 2010, 74 days later, was the day we buried our wife and mother. It has been a tough few months for our family, we are hurting, lonely, and overwhelmed on a regular basis with challenges stemming from Sara's absence. We are so grateful for the love and support from family, friends and neighbors. The compassion shown us has been unexpected and overwhelming. I actually felt sick to my stomach and had to lie down the other day as I was thinking of all the Christlike acts done for me and the kids. It is wonderful - thank you.
I know Sara has completed her mission here. It is the Lord's will for her to have gone to the spirit world at this time. NOT BECAUSE HE NEEDED HER MORE - THAT'S BS!
It seems to "suck big time," as I have heard it expressed, but one day I will look back and realize the Lord's wisdom and love for our family. I will see a bigger purpose in His plan for me.
Now, there is only "onward and upward" - which translates to "now what the heck do I do?!?!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sara's Obituary
St. George, Utah: Sara Michele Campbell Baker, age 35, passed away Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010 in Las Vegas University Medical Center. She was born September 15, 1974, in St. George, Utah, the first child of Roger and Jane Esplin Campbell. She was raised in St. George and graduated from Pine View High School, 1992. She married her first love and high school sweetheart, Brad Baker on June 8, 1996, in the St. George Temple. They are the parents of five children.
Sara loved to sing and had a beautiful voice. She was an amazing organizer. She also loved to plan and set goals. Sara was kind, tender, compassionate, genuine and wanted things perfect. She was active in the LDS Church and served as a Primary teacher and counselor, cub-scout den mother, and as a Relief Society Counselor. Her greatest love was her husband and children. She was such a good wife and mother. Her whole life was centered on her family. Family time was so important to Brad and Sara. Their children know how much they loved each other.
She is survived by her husband, Brad and children, Katelyn, Tyler, Kyle, Annie, and Avrie; parents Roger and Jane Esplin Campbell of Beaver; sisters Jennifer (Beau) Barney of Lehi, Amanda (Aaron) Felstead of St. George, Christina (Tamron) Lee of Cedar City and brother Michael (Meagan) Campbell of St. George; Grandfather - Bybee Campbell of St. George. Father and Mother-in-law Phil & Lynette Baker of Washington City.
Sara is preceded in death by: Grandparents, T. Lavoy and Phoebe Esplin, Clidene M. Campbell. Nephews: Brecken and Brayden Felstead. Niece: Audrie Campbell. Brother-in-law: Charlton Robert Palmer.
Funeral services will be Saturday, April 10, 2010, 11 am, Sunset 1st Ward, 82 N Dixie Drive, St. George. Viewing for friends and family will be held Friday, April 9, 6 - 8 pm at Spilsbury Mortuary and Saturday 9:30 to 10:30 proir to services. Interment will take place in Tonaquint Cemetery.
Special thanks to Dixie Regional Medical Center, St. George, Sunrise Hospital and University Medical Center in Las Vegas for their kind and compassionate care.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Longer Road Than Expected
Brad here - This picture of Sara was taken last night around 10 pm. Wednesday, March 31, 2010.
I was finally allowed in to see her in the ICU. Even after all we have been through in the past 8 weeks, I was still shocked by all the medical equipment. I think she must be hooked up with about everything they could find. I feel fortunate that this technology is available. She has EEG equipment hooked up monitoring her brain. You can see a dozen or so wires hooked up to a black box left of her head.
They are keeping her in coma for about a week now. Another shocker. I came this morning hoping to see her waking up, but Dr's say it's necessary to prevent further brain damage. They are preventing brain activity and pressures low. There isn't much for me to do here. Rog and Jane stopped by and brought breakfast. You should of seen the look in Rog's eyes last night when walking back from the restaurant. There was a doughnut shop, but we couldn't get in - closed. "but I can see the doughnuts on the racks," he said. I had doughnuts for breakfast...
We are all heading home today. Dr. Beraldo Vasquez - cool guy will call me when things begin to change.
"Thank You," to you all for kind words and acts of service. Please continue to pray for Sara.
Day to remember and forget.
The Day for us to remember and forget.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010. The day started early - 5:30 am Vegas time.
Sara was up all night asking regularly " what time is it?" in a semi-hushed, irritated voice as the nurses made their rounds and woke her up. She didn’t have the look of a very sick patient. She was joking and carrying on like normal - the med’s seemed to be keeping her headache’s and fevers under control.
I busied myself packing our crap to the car (as instructed by Sara)- We were being relocated to surgery, and later to a new room in ICU. Sara busied herself brushing her teeth and hair - the normal "Sara" routine stuff. It wasn’t long and the taxi showed up - the Surgery nurse with a "bed on wheels." We were on our way to the dreaded surgery. We justlearned a few minutes before what the procedure would be - open-the-head and poke at the brain like last time. Other options were discussed but no decision with us until this morning. We wouldn’t sign the consent form because we had no idea what we were consenting to. Communication could be better.
While going doing down the hall we heard a loud "Good Bye and good luck" from the little Chinese "thermometer / vital checker" lady. She called Sara the "Nice lady." Sara smiled and seemed to be in good spirits.
We stopped by for an MRI (4th one this week) where the little "bulls-eye" targets were placed on Sara’s head. After a brief visit from Dr. Kaplan and the Anesthesia dude I kissed Sara good-bye and told her that I loved her. Then I was kicked out to the waiting empty room. (The lone and dreary wilderness)
I was lonely and hungry - as usual - (7:45 Vegas time), so off to the cafeteria - to eat 2 pancakes the size of my plate.
Rog and Jane joined me around 9:30 am where we waited together and watched the history channel.
The clock was approaching noon, and we hadn’t heard anything. Other patients families came and went, but we just sat there. I was realizing that things had not gone as planned. Finally, Dr. Kaplan joined us and said that Sara was in recovery. He said the news wasn't good, but still hopeful. We were told that things were complicated in her head (surprised?) - lots of scar tissue causing problems. There didn’t seem to be any signs of infection so he seemed baffled as to why Sara was sick and losing vision.
During the procedure the anterior cerebral artery was damaged (above the circle if willis - for Jason and Ben.) It was apparently not repairable. It is related to her left leg area somehow.
We were worried - big-time, but still not knowing what the heck was happening. After a whopping 30 seconds of briefing us the Dr. left us confused and freaked out and said we could see her in a while. ---what the heck?
After another hour I went to the phone and called recovery to get in. What I saw was horrible. Sara was unconsious but her legs were kicking (like trying to kick sheets off) and arms flinching. Her left arm was a little limp compared to other limbs. The Nurse wasn’t to informative other than pointing out her left arm wasn’t too active. That made me feel better - NOT.
We have many different Dr’s and specialists who never seem to discuss business together and a wife who seems to be having a seizure over 3/4 of her body. And a freaked out husband. She had a rolled up cloth stuffed in her mouth protecting her from hurting herself (I guess) and a breathing tube in her mouth. I snapped a photo with my phone then the nurse kicked me out so Sara could be sent off for a CAT scan. Back to the waiting room for me. It was another 4 hours of watching "Nazi’s in America" on the history channel with Rog. He seemed entertained enough. (J/k)
At 4:30 I called on her again and they let me in. She was resting now - not kicking anymore - so at least she looked normal - other than the tubes out of her head, arms, PIC line (surely other places,) and cloth stuffed in her mouth. It took the same nurse about 3 minutes to tell me to go to lunch and that "she would call me" if she needed me...
Rog, Jane, and I walked outside in the cold hurricane wind to head across the street to DelTaco for some lunch - then we realized it was 6pm and not lunch, but dinner.
We sat there for a while because at least it was warm and we could get free refills.
We headed back to the hospital around 7: 30. I called on Sara to learn that she was on her way to the ICU. We headed up and actually beat her there. After a few minutes she was rolled by us by 4 or five people. Rog and Jane didn’t get a glimpse but I saw that it was her. That was 2 hours ago. It is now 9:30 pm. I have called 2 times to get in, but was denied. Obviously things are not routine here. I am about to make my next attempt to see her.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010. The day started early - 5:30 am Vegas time.
Sara was up all night asking regularly " what time is it?" in a semi-hushed, irritated voice as the nurses made their rounds and woke her up. She didn’t have the look of a very sick patient. She was joking and carrying on like normal - the med’s seemed to be keeping her headache’s and fevers under control.
I busied myself packing our crap to the car (as instructed by Sara)- We were being relocated to surgery, and later to a new room in ICU. Sara busied herself brushing her teeth and hair - the normal "Sara" routine stuff. It wasn’t long and the taxi showed up - the Surgery nurse with a "bed on wheels." We were on our way to the dreaded surgery. We justlearned a few minutes before what the procedure would be - open-the-head and poke at the brain like last time. Other options were discussed but no decision with us until this morning. We wouldn’t sign the consent form because we had no idea what we were consenting to. Communication could be better.
While going doing down the hall we heard a loud "Good Bye and good luck" from the little Chinese "thermometer / vital checker" lady. She called Sara the "Nice lady." Sara smiled and seemed to be in good spirits.
We stopped by for an MRI (4th one this week) where the little "bulls-eye" targets were placed on Sara’s head. After a brief visit from Dr. Kaplan and the Anesthesia dude I kissed Sara good-bye and told her that I loved her. Then I was kicked out to the waiting empty room. (The lone and dreary wilderness)
I was lonely and hungry - as usual - (7:45 Vegas time), so off to the cafeteria - to eat 2 pancakes the size of my plate.
Rog and Jane joined me around 9:30 am where we waited together and watched the history channel.
The clock was approaching noon, and we hadn’t heard anything. Other patients families came and went, but we just sat there. I was realizing that things had not gone as planned. Finally, Dr. Kaplan joined us and said that Sara was in recovery. He said the news wasn't good, but still hopeful. We were told that things were complicated in her head (surprised?) - lots of scar tissue causing problems. There didn’t seem to be any signs of infection so he seemed baffled as to why Sara was sick and losing vision.
During the procedure the anterior cerebral artery was damaged (above the circle if willis - for Jason and Ben.) It was apparently not repairable. It is related to her left leg area somehow.
We were worried - big-time, but still not knowing what the heck was happening. After a whopping 30 seconds of briefing us the Dr. left us confused and freaked out and said we could see her in a while. ---what the heck?
After another hour I went to the phone and called recovery to get in. What I saw was horrible. Sara was unconsious but her legs were kicking (like trying to kick sheets off) and arms flinching. Her left arm was a little limp compared to other limbs. The Nurse wasn’t to informative other than pointing out her left arm wasn’t too active. That made me feel better - NOT.
We have many different Dr’s and specialists who never seem to discuss business together and a wife who seems to be having a seizure over 3/4 of her body. And a freaked out husband. She had a rolled up cloth stuffed in her mouth protecting her from hurting herself (I guess) and a breathing tube in her mouth. I snapped a photo with my phone then the nurse kicked me out so Sara could be sent off for a CAT scan. Back to the waiting room for me. It was another 4 hours of watching "Nazi’s in America" on the history channel with Rog. He seemed entertained enough. (J/k)
At 4:30 I called on her again and they let me in. She was resting now - not kicking anymore - so at least she looked normal - other than the tubes out of her head, arms, PIC line (surely other places,) and cloth stuffed in her mouth. It took the same nurse about 3 minutes to tell me to go to lunch and that "she would call me" if she needed me...
Rog, Jane, and I walked outside in the cold hurricane wind to head across the street to DelTaco for some lunch - then we realized it was 6pm and not lunch, but dinner.
We sat there for a while because at least it was warm and we could get free refills.
We headed back to the hospital around 7: 30. I called on Sara to learn that she was on her way to the ICU. We headed up and actually beat her there. After a few minutes she was rolled by us by 4 or five people. Rog and Jane didn’t get a glimpse but I saw that it was her. That was 2 hours ago. It is now 9:30 pm. I have called 2 times to get in, but was denied. Obviously things are not routine here. I am about to make my next attempt to see her.
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